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Superstars 4
Roz is shown on a recliner chair, watching television. She looks at the camera, and sees that she's rolling. "Oh!" she squeals. "Well, haii, guys. Last time on Total Drama: Superstar Showdown, the contestants had to do a lot of random crap that involved finding my lost, but not really lost, phone. The Ralphcakes and the Swagged Out Citrus Fruits had a wild goose chase in the city, going into various random stores. Finally, the Citrus Fruits lost again, and The Hopalong Ralphcakes are shown in their cabin, living luxuriously for the second night in the row. Arthur is sitting on the couch, watching The Astounding Race with Chelsey. "Hey, Chelsey," Arthur scoffs. "Let's play the Fire Truck Game. I shall move my hand up your leg, and you say 'red light' when you feel violated. Got it?" "Uh, okay," responds Chelsey warily. Arthur begins to move his hand up Chelsey's leg. "Red light!" she yells, once he gets to her shorts. "Fire trucks don't stop at red lights..." grins Arthur, and he continues to go up her leg. "Ew, Arthur, you're so gross," says Chelsey angrily, getting off of the couch. "This show isn't even that good. I'd rather hang out with..." She shudders. "Elena. Wait, no, I take that back. Elena's a--" "Lalalalalalalalaaaaa," sings a voice coming from the bathroom. "Mimimimimimimiiiii. Falalalalalalaaaaaaa." "Who is that?" Chelsey asks suspiciously. "I swear, if it's that little Kavren, he's gonna..." Nic walks out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel. "Vas happenin'?" he says like usual. "Did you guys hear my singing? Hopefully not, because I am very self-conscious about it. I like to believe that I sing like Zayn, though. Ladies love that, hmmm?" "Oh. Yeah. We heard your singing, all right," says Chelsey. "Don't worry, it wasn't that bad." She whispers to Arthur, "JK. It totes was. Hey, where's Puck?" Puck appears out of nowhere, with a jar of prunes. "Oh, just eating a little somethin' before the challenge! How's it going, guys? Last night was so coooool, right? We won again!" "Uh, Puck? Why are you eating prunes?" Flora says. "And guys, don't even say that you didn't notice me..." She sniffs. "I'm used to it." "Oh, just to tighten up my bowels, right? You know. Not too abnormal," Puck says cheerily. "Ooh, I wonder where Wolfie is? I'm sure he'd love some of my prunes." Wolfgang is sitting in the corner of the room, listening to loud music on a uPhone and doing mysterious stuff on a laptop while solving a Rubik's Cube. "I wasn't talking on purpose," he grunts. "I hate you all." "Wolfgang, what music is that..." Chelsey says. "Is that crappy synth-pop? Nobody listens to that crap except Puck. Is that Puck's phone?" She begins to giggle. "Uh, no, definitely not," growls Wolfgang. "I totally wasn't trying to sabotage his relationship with Casey. Nope, not at all. Just playing Doodle A Thing with Kai. Yep." "Aw, buddy, I don't mind if you use my phone!" grins Puck. "Just... don't say anything bad to Case, kay? We've been dating for eight months, and I care about her more than anything... except hockey." "Awwwwwww..." Elena says sarcastically. "Just kidding, nobody cares. Casey is an ugly poseur, and she's also a perfect match for you." "Casey? Is that the awkward child who's obsessed with me? Oh, yeah, I remember you talking about her. I think we met once, but she just acted creepy. Maybe if she was more popular, I'd like her," purrs Chelsey. A loud crashing noise is heard. "Did someone say awkward child?" Kavren suddenly appears, hanging upside down from the ceiling on his feet. "Bloop pork. That was a pretty nice sleep, I just got up. Oppan Gangnam Style! Haha, I love that song. Me and my buddy Leo made up a dance to it. Wanna see?" Kavren starts to do the Gangnam Style dance. "Uh, Kavren, you didn't make that up," says Veronica. "That's the real dance." "...Oh," says Kavren sadly. "By the way, Arthur, why do you hate your Uncle Arturo so much? You kept ranting and going all Julia about him last night." "Hmm, let's see here. He drove my mother's car into a pole, he quit his million-dollar job, he spent all his lottery money on shit, he frequently shoots puppies with arrows, he calls me 'Mr. Jiggles', and one year he stayed in my house, and now my room smells like a mixture of enchiladas and a giant fart," explains Arthur. "Hehehe, that's awesome, Mr. Jiggles," giggles Kavren. Arthur walks up to Kavren and punches him in the face, making him fall down from the ceiling. "Our friendship is tumultuous," says Arthur. Chelsey nods her head in shock. "Hey, where's Trey?" she asks. "You'd think he would be complaining about crap." "I'm sitting right here..." says Trey quietly, on the couch. "I bet nobody even knew I was out here... I'm so pathetic... I just want to curl up into a ball and cry about my life..." "I'd like to see tha--" says Arthur, but Veronica interrupts him. "It's ok, Trey," she says, giving him a pat on the back. "Me, Flora, and MacKenzie feel your pain. If you need any help, just talk to us." Trey says in the confessional, "This season really isn't going very well for me... Nobody trusts me, and I don't have any alliances or anything like that... Ugh..." Meanwhile, the Swagged Out Citrus Fruits are asleep, on the ground in front of the campfire. Trick and Tolkien are snuggling, although they're completely unaware. Layla walks out from the woods, and blows a trumpet, waking everyone around her up. Trick notices Tolkien snuggling with him, and he says, "All right, putting your head on my shoulder was kind of excusable, but this is too much," he says in alarm. "Um, what?" Tolkien wakes up. "Oh. Uh, sorry. Yeah, this is awkward. Sorry about that, Trick. Yeah. I won't do that again..." Trick is shown in the confessional, "Tolkien is acting really weird. I don't know whether I should keep him in the game, or eliminate him, or what. Whatever, I guess I'll keep him in the game for now." "Chop chop," Layla says loudly. "Time for the auditions for 'Who Wants To Be A Charles?'! First up is... Wait, where is everyone?" "Anywhere but here," scoffs Julia, waking up. "Hey, where's my 1E teddy bear? I need my bear, dudes. Seriously, it's autographed by Zane, Larry, Leeyum, and Louie. Nobody gives a crap about Nile, though, so he didn't autograph me. WHERE IS MY BEAR." Julia says in the confessional, "Well, they aren't actually their real signatures, but whatever. I'm good at forgery, like that one time when I got angry in class and the sub was gonna write my name down, and the sub left for the bathroom, and I wrote down Arthur's name instead. Signature and all. Hehehe, now if I could just apply my skills to the game, I'd be golden." Helga is shown waking up. "Ugh, that was a terrible night of sleep. I don't enjoy sleeping on the cold, hard ground. Especially since my books all mysteriously disappeared..." She narrows her eyes. "Hey, where's Devin?" Devin, covered in leaves, wearing nothing but underwear, and holding a sack stuffed with suspicious material, falls from a tree. "Oof! Oh, s'up, m' grapefruits? It be a nice day t' go trick o' treatin', but y'know, we ain't able t' 'cuz we's in dis stupid game, yo." "Trick or treating? Are you mentally stable?" asks Estrella. "...Oh, wait. It's Halloween today, purrrrfect. My favorite day of the year." Alex is shown in the confessional. "Obviously Estrella is gonna get voted out, it's Halloween, just like that Northworth dude back in Revolution on his birthday. She's morbid, though, so it might be an advantage, if we have some weird sorta trivia challenge today." Helga looks at Devin, her eyes wide. "Devin.... What is in that sack?" Devin starts whistling innocently, and trying to hide the sack behind his back. Helga runs up to Devin, and yells, "GIVE ME THE SACK!" She tackles Devin, and the sack finally spills out, revealing Helga's books, Julia's stuffed bear, and a sleeping Alex. "God, it was stuffy in there," yawns Alex, waking up. "Devin, what the crap?" Chrissy says in the confessional, "Devin is probably trying to be less mainstream and hang out with the tribe, but he's just not getting it. Stealing people's stuff? No." "Oh, by th' way, I also found dis note, yo," Devin says, holding up a crumpled piece of paper. "'Ey, 'Elga, since you be so good at readin', why don't you read dis note fo' th' teamie?" Helga snorts. "Whatever." She picks up the paper, and reads. "Hi, contestants. I'm too lazy to come over to you guys, so I have enclosed a giant sack full of paper strips that you will draw out for today's challenge. Once you get your corresponding strip of paper, you'll go to the other team's cabin, and they have a sack with your... er, materials for today's challenge. Then, you'll meet me at the beach, where I'll actually explain this challenge." "Costume competition, it's obvious," says Estrella. "I'll draw first." She reaches into the bag, and takes out a slip of paper that says 'fairy'. "NO! I refuse to wear pink. Ugh, of course I get the worst one." "Hey, mine will probably be worse," says Helga, drawing. She picks 'Renaissance woman'. "Ha, never mind. Not bad at all." Layla stomps up to the bag, and picks it. "Hobo?!" she yells in disgust. "I am NOT a hobo. If this is some sort of 'symbolic' crap, then I'm not doing it. Ugh, screw Roz and her stupid games." Julia is shown whispering and crossing her fingers. "Pleasepleaseplease--" She draws 'Zane'. "YES! Yesyesyesyes! Eeee!" Helga says in the confessional, "The chick makes Katie and Sadie seem quiet." Chrissy is shown drawing 'pirate'. "Eh. I already wear sunglasses anyway," she says coolly. "Arrrrrr." "I swear, if I have to be her parrot..." says Alex groggily, as he draws out the slip of paper. "Vampire. Cool. I hope I'm one of those sexy ones like Deadward Sullen, the chicks will go all over me, if you know what I'm saying." He nudges Devin, who giggles. "I guess I be..." Devin picks his card and gasps in shock. "A nerd?! I ain't no nerd, yo. I be th' hardcore G." Trick is shown drawing his card, and it says, 'pizza'. "How am I supposed to be a pizza? Aw, man, please, don't have tons of food costumes..." He shudders, thinking of Kavren's antics in his banana suit. "And last but not least, me!" says Tolkien happily, drawing the last card out of the bag. "I'm a... hockey player? Aw, that's kinda boring. I hoped I'd be the Black Mage, either that or a male stripper or something to impress Roz." Inside, the Hopalong Ralphcakes are shown to be doing the same thing, and the author doesn't feel like announcing everyone's costumes one by one because it would be tedious, so Veronica, Flora, and MacKenzie are shown with their costumes: a Christmas tree, an octopus, and a gangsta. "Hmm, I wonder what sort of chaz Roz will make us go through today. As long as it involves shoplifting candy, I'm in. I did that one year with Kav. Hehe, Kav, remember when those cops were joking around with us, good times, eh?" laughs Arthur. "Now, time to see what I shall be..." He draws a costume from the big bag, and it's a long, flowing black girls' wig and a small, leopard print bikini. "Wut?" "Ugh, I'll probably get something crappy..." Trey mopes, as he picks up a genie costume. "I wish I could grant wishes... I'd wish to be out of this hell hole..." Kavren walks out of the bathroom, in his banana suit from Revolution. "What's up, blooper-scoopers? Got my old friend with me," he says. "And yep, I totally got this from the bag. Definitely." He makes a shifty-eyed face. Nic grabs a gigantic, unidentifiable costume from the bag. "What is this? This doesn't show off Abby. I don't even know what it's supposed to be!" He holds up the costume, which looks like a gigantic piece of yellow bread dipped in a bowl of a brown mush. "Beans and cornbread!" says Puck happily. "That's a sweet costume! I wish I had one like that... Hey, where's my costume?" Puck glances at the bag, which is empty. "What about Wolfie and Chelsey and whoever else?" "You moron, we already got our costumes, but the author wants to get to the challenge," says Wolfgang, dressed as a werewolf. "Fitting costume," grunts Chelsey, who's dressed as a hamburger. "Where's Elena? Can't wait to see what ugly crap she's in." Elena steps out of the bathroom. She's wearing brown overalls and a green wig. "I'm an oompa loompa," she says extremely unenthusiastically. "Roz said I didn't need to wear any face paint. What a b--" A loud horn honks from outside, signifying that the challenge is about to begin. The Ralphcakes run out of the cabin, but Nic runs into Chelsey, toppling down everyone else. After everyone is on the ground, Arthur says, "This will be a fun challenge indeed." Outside, the Ralphcakes and the Citrus Fruits meet Roz on the beach. "Hellooooo, everyone!" she says. "Sooo, since this was supposed to be a Halloween special, you guys are gonna do a Halloween challenge. Buuuut, that might have been obvious because of the costumes. Now, first off, you--" "Hey, Roz, where's my 'stume? I didn't get one," complains Puck. "First of all, nobody says 'stume. It's not cool, it makes you annoying. Aaaand, second of all, here's your costume," Roz says. She picks up a jack o'lantern and throws it at Puck. It miraculously lands on of his head, and fits perfectly. "Jack O'Puck," she says. "No complaints, or you'll sit out. Now, like I was saying... Teams will race to the end of the beach, where there will be a couple of catapult thingies. You will control the catapults, and launch pumpkins from them onto targets on the other side of the beach. Each time a pumpkin lands on the target, you get 100 points, and first team to get to 500 wins. If you get a bullseye, you get 500 points automatically. You can also catch pumpkins... May not be too safe, but you can do it... You get 500 points if you catch a pumpkin and don't injure yourself or break a bone. If you win this, you'll get an advantage in the next part of the challenge! Oh, and the Ralphcakes will sit out two members of this challenge. Who will they be?" "Veronica and Flora," scoffs Elena. "They're boring." "Mkay..." Roz says. "Y'know, if I were nice, I'd make you and Chelsey sit out 'cuz you've been hogging screen-time and Ronnie and Flora haven't had like any lines, but I'm not nice, so yeah. Veronica 'n' Flora. Get your booties away from here." Veronica and Flora sadly mope away. "Pssh, what is this, Survivor?" Flora mutters. "We've never had to sit out before." "Shut uppppp," Roz barks. "K, guys. Readeh? Oh, yeah, and also, you will have to do this crap in your costumes, so that might slow you down or whatever. Ready, set... GO!" Arthur and Kavren rush to the catapult with Wolfgang, and they pull back one of their pumpkins. "OK, Kav, be sure to do it lightly so--" says Arthur. Kavren pulls back the pumpkin, and releases it, sending it flying onto Elena and knocking her onto the ground. "I was trying to say not to do that. Jesus Chris, Kavren," scoffs Arthur. "But, we still have many a pumpkin left, so we're not out of the challenge yet." He looks at his bikini, and shivers. "I feel very exploited right now." "Arthur, get it together!" howls Wolfgang. He violently pulls back the catapult, and releases it. The pumpkin flies into the air, and... misses the target by 1/12th of an inch. Wolfgang yells something dirty. Julia and Chrissy are shown, manipulating the Citrus Fruits' catapult. "OK, Chrissy, we gotta do this lightly. Remember, if we win, we get an advantage, soooo, lezzdooaaat!" yells Julia. She pulls back the catapult, and it is sent hurtling. "Guys! Check it out! I got it! I got it! I go--" yells Puck, jumping up and down quickly. The pumpkin smashes into Puck's stomach, knocking him out cold. "SHUASHUASHUA!" laughs Wolfgang heartily. "Now, that's comedy." Elena slowly gets up, and feels her head, which has a giant bump on it. "Puck, stop being a lazy butt, and we gotta do this. If you win the challenge for me, I'll make out with you, and believe me, that is one opportunity you don't want to miss. Deal?" "Uh, Elena, if you knew me well, you'd know that I'm already dating the beautiful Casey, and I refuse to flirt with other gurlies. Sorry, you're a cool person, but I don't roll like that!" Puck says cheerfully. "Yeah, about that..." mutters Wolfgang. He takes Puck's phone out of his pocket, showing that he still has it, and the phone rumbles. Wolfgang tries to contain his laughter. "Oh, Wolfie, you found somethin' funny on there? Awesome, I got this really cool joke app!" Puck yells. Back at the Citrus Fruits' catapult, Julia and Chrissy are struggling. "This... is... impossible..." Chrissy says. "Freaking pirate costume... And keep in mind that I'm semi-athletic... Alex, get off your arse and help us! Is it really that hard?!" "Yes," mutters Alex groggily. "I only got ten hours of sleep last night. Gotta catch up..." He begins to drift off to sleep again, but Chrissy kicks him in the groin and he gets back up. "Not cool, man." Chrissy throws another pumpkin. Trick and Tolkien run to try and catch it, but they're lucky - the pumpkin just barely lands on the target. Trick and Tolkien cheer, and Tolkien hugs Trick. "Uh, no," says Trick, and Tolkien gets off. "The Citrus Fruits score a point!" yells Roz happily. "Nic's up now now, running to catch a pumpkin. Oh, and he misses it! Arthur and Kavren throw another pumpkin, will this one work?!" "Shut up, Probst!" yells Wolfgang angrily. "Yo, dawg, I got dis!" says Devin enthusiastically, trying to put a heavy pumpkin onto the catapult. "Hehe, I don't think so," says a small voice. Devin turns around and sees Helga and Estrella sitting in the corner, reading morbid books. Layla is sitting next to them, doing absolutely nothing but sitting in her hobo costume and scowling. Devin says in the confessional, "Th' problem wit' our team be dat none o' dem is focusin', dawg. If we's be gettin' off ou' lazy butts, den we'd ha' a goo' chance o' winnin', bu' ain't nobody feel like doin' so. Aye, don' blame me wen we's headin' to elimination, yo." Devin shakes his head in disappointment, and pulls the catapult back. The pumpkin zooms in the air to the other target, and lands on it. "Citrus Fruits with 200 points now! Aaaand, the Ralphcakes still have zero. Step it up, guys, or you'll be really sad in the next challenge!" Roz chirps. "You know what? We are going to win, with the power of beans and cornbread!" Nic says valiantly. "I will now throw the winning pumpkin!" He puts a pumpkin onto the catapult, pulls it back, and releases it, sending it flying up into the air. Puck, Elena, and Chelsey run to catch the pumpkin. "Come on..." Chelsey mutters. The pumpkin comes hurtling down, and a gigantic explosion is heard. Smoke soon flies into the air, covering up everyone. Once the smoke clears, Chelsey is shown holding the pumpkin. "Hey, Roz, I got it," Chelsey squeals. "So, does that mean we win? I'm still in one piece, thank god. Ew, if I ever broke a bone, that would destroy my popularity..." "YES!" yells Roz. "In an amazing come-from-behind victory, the Ralphcakes win the first part of the challenge. Maybe I should have made it a little harder to win, but it's not like anyone can realistically catch a pumpkin... Except Chelsey... Whatever. I'll explain the next challenge in a sec, I may or may not have thought of it already. Heh." She looks at the contestants, shifty-eyed. Puck says in the confessional, "That. Was. AWESOME! Man, my team is really cool. We've been avoiding elimination so much, it's like insane! The people on it are really weird, and MacKenzie is practically invisible, but whatever. Wolfie is really fun, and I'm glad he's so supportive." Chelsey says in the confessional, "Well, that was really unexpected. The challenges this season are disturbing, I won't be surprised if like nobody reads this anymore. But whatever, we won, so yay?" Tolkien is shown dancing in the confessional, with a pink radio playing music. "Freaked out, dropped my phone in the pool again," the music plays, and Tolkien lip-syncs to the music. He then suspiciously turns off the music, and says, "Oops. Uh, well, I don't think we did very well in that... Hope Roz doesn't mind. I really like her... I wonder how Kav would react? But he's on the other team, so I can't even socialize. Gotta wait till merge, I guess." He laughs nervously. "OK, guys!" yells Roz. "Finally got the idea for the next challenge." "What is it, shoplifting candy like Arthur said..." says Trey quietly. "Yes!" Roz responds. "Hehe, Trey, it actually is. You're sooo psychotic, I mean, psychic! Heh. Anyway, you guys will get one hour to roam around the beach and whatnot and find as much candy as you can. The winning team gets invincibility, and the losing team has to go to elimination!" "Wait, what about our advantage?" whines Elena. "You better not have been kidding, Roz." "Ohhh, no, I wasn't!" Roz chirps. She reaches into her pocket and tosses her a Footsie Roll. Elena catches it in her hands, and scowls. "What is this?" "Ooh, it's a Footsie Roll!" Roz twitters. "It's candy, right? That's one less piece that you guys have to collect! Hehe. Makes your job a lot easier, right?!" "Lawl. At least we're not them," Layla whispers. "I enjoy seeing the other team suffer. Serves them right for destroying us in the other challenges." Helga and Estrella nod their heads. The scene changes to the Hopalong Ralphcakes walking around, trying to find candy. Elena is whining, "Sooo, this August, we got an exchange student from Ruritania or whatever. And she's such a brat. She has to sleep in the room next to mine, out of all of the rooms in the house, why that one?! And she's taking all the attention away from me. The second my brother leaves for college, this @#$%& has to step in and ruin everything. Her name is Parmis. What kind of a name is that?!" "It sounds like a spice," MacKenzie says. "Yeah, like parmesan," Elena nods her head. "Ugh, I hate her. This is the longest nine months of my life." Chelsey says in the confessional, "Yeah, I feel sorry for the girl so much... Nine months with Elena? I'd kill myself, personally. And I didn't want to tell her, but parmesan is not a spice."